by Jordan Gross
I was in fourth grade when I learned – painfully – how my brain works a little differently.
It was Career Day at school. Different professionals rotated through our classrooms all day, telling us about their jobs. That afternoon, a chef came to speak. I remember the smell of something savory, the tall white hat perched awkwardly on his head, and then the moment that completely hijacked my attention:
He pulled a live lobster out of a cooler.
A real one. Claws. Antennae. Moving!!
I was completely mesmerized.
The rest of his presentation faded into the background. My brain was locked onto the lobster: its color, its movement, the fact that it was alive and sitting in our elementary school classroom. I don’t remember what he said after that. I honestly don’t even remember what he said before that.
When the bell rang and our class lined up to leave, I was brimming with excitement. As soon as we passed the next group of students waiting to enter, I exclaimed:
“There’s a lobster in there! A LIVE one!!”
I was so thrilled to share the surprise!
What happened next is seared into my memory.
My teacher immediately reprimanded me–in front of everyone. The chef, apparently, had asked us not to tell the other classes so it could be a surprise for them too.
My cheeks burned red. I felt exposed, ashamed, and confused.
I genuinely did not remember hearing that instruction at all.
And the truth is, I probably didn’t.
That Moment Wasn’t About Disrespect. It Was About Attention.
At the time, I just thought I had messed up.
As an adult, I now recognize exactly what was happening:
My attention had been captured by something novel, exciting, and emotionally stimulating. Once that happened, my brain filtered out the rest, including an important social instruction.
This is something many people with ADHD experience: Attention isn’t absent, it’s uneven. Focus isn’t broken, it’s interest driven. Memory isn’t poor, it’s state dependent.
When something lights up our nervous system, it can eclipse everything else.
That day with the lobster wasn’t defiance.
It wasn’t rudeness.
It wasn’t carelessness.
It was ADHD.
Growing Up With 100 Tabs Open in My Brain
That moment wasn’t the first time (or the last) that my ADHD created dissonance in my life.
As I grew older, it showed up in different ways:
- Chronic time blindness
- Disorganization
- Forgetting things I genuinely cared about
- Struggling to prioritize
- Feeling overwhelmed by the constant “mental noise” of having a hundred tabs open in my brain at once
And often, with those struggles came:
- Shame
- Self-criticism
- The belief that I just needed to “try harder”
But ADHD was never about effort.
It was about how my brain processes the world.
Over time – with support, therapy, trial-and-error, and a lot of self-compassion – I began to learn strategies that actually worked for my nervous system. Not systems designed for neurotypical brains. Not rigid rules that only fed perfectionism. But tools that honored how my brain truly functions.
And something else happened along the way:
I became a counselor.
Why This Work Is Personal
Today, I sit across from clients every day who carry the same quiet shame I once felt. Kids who think they’re “too much.” Teens who believe their brains are broken. Adults who feel like they’ve been behind their whole lives.
And I see them.
I recognize the pattern. I recognize the pain. I recognize the brilliance, too.
My mom, Michelle, and I created ADHDworx because ADHD isn’t just something we treat—it’s something we live. In our family of five, no two brains are wired the same. We’ve seen the chaos and the creativity side by side. The frustration and the gifts intertwined.
At the heart of ADHDworx is a simple truth:
You are not too much.
You are not broken.
You are not behind.
You just have a brain that works differently, and that brain deserves understanding, not constant correction.
From Lobsters to Lasting Change
I still think about that lobster sometimes.
Not with humiliation anymore, but with clarity and compassion.
That little fourth-grade version of me wasn’t wrong. She was excited. Curious. Alive with wonder. She simply didn’t have the executive functioning filter yet to hold back the impulse.
And neither do so many of the clients we now serve.
At ADHDworx, we hold space for:
- The missed instructions
- The emotional reactivity
- The unfinished tasks
- The big ideas
- The nonlinear learning
- The incredible creativity
Not from the standpoint that people are problems to be solved but because we don’t focus on “fixing” people.
We focus on helping people understand their brains, build systems that support them, and rediscover confidence in who they are.
Because ADHD doesn’t have to be a barrier to success or joy.
With the right tools, support, and compassion, it can become a strength.
Sometimes the very thing that once made us feel embarrassed becomes the story that helps someone else feel understood – lobsters and all.